So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
