Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
All the doctor said was why
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize