u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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