I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
