Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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