just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
