JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize