The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
