i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
