I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
