I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
