Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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