i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
