Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
