During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Randomize
