Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
