Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
