Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
