Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
