Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize