all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
