we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
