I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
