What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
