Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize