You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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