Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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