Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
