I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize