I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
