It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
