I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Its about making memories worth repressing
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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