Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
