As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
