oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
