Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize