The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
