Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
