I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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