you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
