Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There r osticjed everywhere
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
