u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
