Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
