It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
