real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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