Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize