She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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