Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
