all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
