When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
