I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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