My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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