Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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