i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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