Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
