i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
