): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
