is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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