I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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