my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
