Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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