Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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