Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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