I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
