yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
