with your own penis?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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