I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I could make wine with my vomit
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
A+ Viking dick
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
