I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The power of my boobs compel you
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize