She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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