i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
