you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he thought i was a dude.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
