He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
