And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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