Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
